You know you are too stressed if...

• Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
• You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
• The Sun is too loud.
• Trees begin chasing you.
• You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
• You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
• You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
• You can hear mimes.
• You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
• Things becomes "Very Clear."
• You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
• The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
• You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
• You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you are the only one in the room.
• Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
• You and Reality file for divorce.
• You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
• You can travel without moving.
• Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
• You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
• You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.
• Teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.
• You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

Page updated: March 16, 2019

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